I can’t believe that it has been six weeks now since I left Elder Wing and McCarthy Hills. My first six weeks in Laterbiokorshie has been a ride that is for sure. I know it’s been a while since you have heard from me, but I haven’t been myself for a couple of weeks and it hasn’t been easy for me to sit down and write.
For the past year or so I have had problems with my skin in one-way or another. It has been annoying but I tried not to worry too much about it and I just tried to stay focused on missionary work. That right there might have been my first mistake not taking care of the problem that would have been easier to solve when it first started. Some months went by and things weren’t getting better, so I thought that I better do something about it. By that time it had left me with permanent scars. I tried not letting it get to me but it was always right there in the back of my mind. I came to this new area and things just seemed to get worse, escalating to something I felt like I couldn't handle. I developed a new rash that burned and itched more than anything I have ever experienced. I spent several nights the past few weeks only sleeping one maybe two hours a night. Then the next morning I would be getting ready and look at myself in the mirror and I would just want to put my fist through the mirror in frustration. I have been so depressed. I just can’t seem to get out this slump that I’m in.
I knew that I had to start doing something different to get out of this slump that I was in. I have taken my bruises, taken my lumps, and have fallen now I need to find a way to get back up again. I knew I needed a spark to get me psyched back up again to get my mind back in the game. I don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position that I'm in but there was one day in particular when I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it another day. I was probably a hair away from getting carried away in a straight jacket when this quote came to my mind (I think it came from President Hinckley) "when life gets to hard to stand, just kneel”. I found myself on my knees face down in my scriptures for many hours. There was one night in particular where I felt like I didn't have any more in me to go on when I pick my face up off my scriptures and looked at the clock and it was 2:40 am. As I lifted my head the fan blew my scriptures and the pages went turning every which way and when I finally got everything under control, my scriptures were opened to the 121 section of the Doctrine and Covenants. At first I didn’t think much of it and just put my face back down on my scriptures and spaced out for a while. Then when I finally opened my eyes again, it was starting to get light outside so I could see small. I looked down at my scriptures and began reading:
D&C 121:1 O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? 2 How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries? 3 Yea, O Lord, how long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before thine heart shall be softened toward them, and thy bowels be moved with compassion toward them?
As I began to read this, it did humble me as I thought about the conditions that the prophet Joseph Smith was in and how much more he suffered than what I was suffering. I thought to myself at least I’m not in prison and it’s not cold and I can still feel my toes and I have food to eat so I continued to read.
7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.
It scripture continues on to talk about how he (Joseph) was not yet as Job, so I started to think about more stories in the scriptures were the righteous did suffer afflictions and hard times, but as they were faithful to the lord their afflictions were but a small moment. I am not sure how long this small moment is going to be but I know that the Lord knows what he is doing. I read through the next chapter.
D&C 122:7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
This verse kind of just topped it all off, with all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good. I currently still can’t see the good of this but I am praying that one day I will understand why we have to go through these hard things. All I do know is that it is for my good, what ever that may be.
Again I am sorry for the past couple of weeks; I am going to do better. I really don't want you to worry about me, because I am fine and all will be well. We are doing everything that we can here to fix what we can. Sounds like state starts today! Go get’em Lone Peak! Let’s bring home the gold! I love you guys!
So transfers are tomorrow. My companion and I are staying here; Elder Wing is being transferred up to Kofriduia just north of Accra and he will probably be there for the rest of my mission. It kind of blows to know that after tomorrow I might not see him again before I leave, but I guess that’s the way it goes. We sent off Elder Quinn in our apartment today, he will be heading home later today. Ha-ha! He was extremely ready to go but we are going to miss him.
Love you all,
Bbear
The TreeO
KFC In Ghana!
No comments:
Post a Comment